My Likes
+I found Haley to be unique and interesting.
+Haley’s relationship with her dad was cute, fun, and
interesting.
+I liked Haley’s backstory, and the real life consequences
her and her mom dealt with after a family tragedy.
+Haley’s attitude at the beginning is quite positive.
+Crazy characters and worlds filled with unlimited and
unrestrained imagination.
+Felt like a really cool Saturday morning cartoon with
videogame influences.
+Great action scenes
There were some really great action scenes all throughout
the book. All with the over-the-top
action of a videogame or action cartoon.
Three scenes immediately come to mind.
Haley has an epic kung fu, bullettime inspired dodgeball showing near
the beginning. Near the middle she ends
up in a fight with some elemental ninjas that’s amazingly over-the-top. When I say some, think hundreds! Out of nowhere she ends up fighting this towering
skyscraper of a beast called Drighver, which could’ve easily been a fight in a
God of War game. I’m missing a ton of
other top notch scenes too for the sake of not spoiling anything. One scene is even better than all those I’ve
listed.
+You can tell that the author’s having fun with this
book. It’s just so joyfully over-the-top
and playful. I can’t wait to see where
he takes it.
+Tons of wrestling references (mostly Attitude Era)
+Tons of videogame references
My Dislikes
-Extremely long chapters.
The book is only 13 chapters long but it has 351 pages. That should clue you in as to the average
chapter length. Youngsters will probably
find this to be an excruciating read based on the length alone. Sure, bookmarks were invented very long ago
but people(myself) like to feel the accomplishment of conquering a chapter
before bed or leaving to go do something.
There’s usually a lot going on in each chapter and enough transitions to
warrant a chapter break. I think that
you should definitely give the reader that break when you can.
-This book feels inappropriate for any target audience.
The author talks to the reader as if they’re Haley’s age (10
years old) but depicts gore in a scene or two, and has a tiny (microscopic) bit
of inappropriate humor. I’m mostly
talking about the fight in chapter 12 which treats death too casually for my
tastes and a bloody battle with a monster called Drighver. This fight could’ve easily been in the
videogame God of War.
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| Scene from Sony Santa Monica's God of War 3 |
The author’s choice of diction also seems too advanced for
the younger set, for a great length of the book, and chapter length is definitely
way too long for youngsters. The content however is mostly juvenile so it’s a
strange mix to be sure.
-Haley’s, kind of, a jerk.
Once Haley’s adventure really begins and she gets a little
confident (trying not to spoil anything) she really starts using, abusing(lightly),
and humiliating her companions. I found
her treatment of Vognar later on to be loathsome. She treats a character named Narst even worse
than Vognar. There were other parts too
but those parts made me want someone to show her some humility. You have to keep in mind that she is only 10
years old.
-Lackluster Ending
The ending fell a bit flat for me. This is part one of a series and there is a
lot more to come and this book makes you feel like it. The villain is merely touched upon here and
only really revealed in the epilogue.
This gives the book an incomplete feeling. It feels like you’re leaving the adventure
right in the middle of a main and sub quest line.
-Too many blank pages at the end, annoyingly so. I think the Chris K. forgot that we readers
would have to actually scroll through this.
It was a mischievous prank of sorts for the epilogue, a fun little
immersion experiment but for some reason turning those blank pages made me
absurdly annoyed.
What Set This Apart
(This section is
special and exclusive to books with ideas and implementation of those ideas
that really stand out and connect with me.
Honestly, not every book I review will get this section but those that
do deserve to be highlighted.)
+Chapter’s 7 and 8 of this book truly stood out to me and
marked this book as a clear departure from the “norm.” For a book like this to have such philosophy
and themes really took me by surprise.
These chapters are definitely a departure from the feel of the rest of
book which is of youthful adventure. It’s
a two chapter training session and it’s ridiculously cool. There’s a touch of eastern philosophy mainly
dealing with self-improvement. I won’t
go further into it but it reminded me and inspired me to continue to seek self-perfection
of the body and mind in a way that Dragonball Z and Batman did to me as a kid. It stirred up my deep desires to train and to
train as hard as I could. To end I’ll
say that the scenario was really well written.
+The author’s concept of his universe’s source of personal energy,
CHO, was pretty clever.
It’s based on Chi but has some philosophical and
metaphysical peculiarities. Here Cho
stands for Consistent Human Objection and brings understanding to all beings. It is a philosophy that if an object is
understood to be one way, that it is also another way because everything is
open to all paths because we all see things differently. It’s based on individual perception and a
constant questioning of the very universe in order to fully understand it and
empower oneself. These concepts resonate
with me and in many ways are how I live my life. I was super surprised to find them nestled in
this cool little adventure tale. Anyways
mastery of this energy turns you into a super powerful Naruto/Avatar the Last
Airbender character, so yeah pretty cool.
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| A scene from the anime Naruto by Mashashi Kishimoto, published by Shueisha Jump and Viz Media. Animation by Studio Pierrot. |
Final Thoughts and Humble Tips
I really liked this book.
It reminded me of a book I started back in sixth grade (that I’m going
to revisit soon) with 10 year old protagonists and a crazy world inhabited by
crazy creatures. It’s not a novel concept
(no pun intended) but each author can bring something new to it. Cristopher Krerowicz definitely brings
something new to this concept. I’d like
to see this indie reach his full potential just as his protagonist, Haley, is
trying to reach hers. To this I just
will sort of reiterate some of my negative points and how I think they can be
fixed.
Please, for the love of whatever deity comes to mind, break
up your chapters into smaller more satisfying bits. This is a tactic I have used for my first (unpublished)
story. If possible, each chapter should
be centered around an event or major revelation. If not possible, they should be fun as
heck. Haley’s worlds (all of them) are
not lacking for fun so just break those chapter’s up. The youngsters need it, the old timers need
it, and the in-betweeners need it.
Is the book mainly for kids or adults? This distinction should be made early to
affect the tone of the writing. Adults
don’t want to be talked down to and children have a lot of trouble when stories
have a lot of big words or complex phrases.
If it’s a book for everyone as I suspect then a happy medium should be
found, not condescending or needlessly complex.
If one imagines telling a story for their friends (with their kids
around) then they can easily tell such a grand and youthful story for everyone.
Anyways it’s a fun read so pick it up and review it
yourselves.
You can download a free
sample and then buy it at http://www.amazon.com/Ridiculously-Amazing-Adventure-Spaghetti-Whitehills-ebook/dp/B00MSXFQTM/
I believe it’s on Wattpad as well.
As always, thanks for the browse!
(Belart)
